I'm in Love with Todd Oldham

Cable TV's BRAVO Network has kept me tuned in the last few months with its reality shows in particular and to the dying species of television in general. I never got hooked to the early generation of reality shows on network tv, people getting voted off islands and tribes being formed and reformed, and ever since the production of "Alf" in the 90's and the appointment of Michael Powell to the FCC in the same decade, this writer has witnessed a precipitous downfall into thinner blonde jobs and thinner plot lines.

Having grown up a gay creative wanna-be strangely fascinated with Julia Child and William Alexander and the arts behind what they did in those half-hour shows on pre-historic PBS, BRAVO's presentation of some ambitious designers-artistes ["Project Runway" hosted by supermodel Heidi Klum, "Top Chef" hosted by Padma Lakshmi, and "Top Design" hosted by Todd Oldham] have caught me in their nets. I never thought "reality" could be so interesting.

I was hooked on "Runway' in the second season when the show still held a gay aesthetic. I suspect by season three the producers rather than put up a NO GAYS sign and shut down, simply edited footage to keep things toned down for our middle countrymen whom they wanted to buy soap. And I suspect this is what happened in a revealing moment in its sister show, "Top Design." The men are interesting. The women strike me as either what we used to call Fag Hags or are Elegant, which means they have more white collar gay friends perhaps. Klum, the hostess, seems to be competing the 9 births of Queen Victoria, but she remains tres elegante herself. And between her and Miss Tyra Banks one has to admire they will not go softly into the Night like Cheryl Tiegs or Christy Brinkley.

The fact that some of the "Project Runway" contestants were openly gay or were secure enough in their sexuality to take on a gay mannerism or two like a tasteful pair of shoes hooked me more. Here they were in a space where their art mattered, not their sexuality. Ironically, when your sexuality is not a threat, gay and straight men can open up and be their fluid selves, aggressive, flirtatious, demure.

When "Top Chef" hosted by Indian actress Padma Lakshmi was announced to take "Project Runway's" time slot, I was discouraged and suspicious: could lightning hit twice? Nope. Where were they taking Heidi [labor and delivery perhaps]? Would I be denied chances to see grown men behaving naturally and creatively? "Top Chef" seemed butch, so I tuned out until the 3rd episode or so. Geez!! Hooked again! It was in fact less gay, and yet seeing these young men and women create to outdo their peers' creations was a war of the gods worth seeing. My vote in season three was for the diabetic New York head chef. The Latina had my vote until she got to whining. The handsome young Jew, Ilan, who eventually won seemed a reasonable choice.

Then "Top Design" hosted by designer Todd Oldham was announced to replace "Top Chef" I feared we were going into "Rockey V" territory. Again, I thought they'd gone too far and had run out of creativity. Who cares about the design of a room? Thanks to the paltry offerings on network tv, I tuned in during the 2nd or third episode and found they'd hit on the magic again ... and TODD OLDHAM!!!

Yeah, I'm in love with Todd Oldham, the show's host. He's my cup of tea. Cute, successful, unassuming, geeky. My kind of gentleman caller. So call me, Todd!! I'm in LA and single and have a room you could dress up.

The show's first season doesn't measure up to the best of "Project Runway", but it has that gay chic the other, earlier shows, albeit toned down. Goil (like Gargoyle, he reminds us ... and I am enamored with that CURTSEY he executes), Michael, John. So I was a little disappoinnted when in one of the early episodes one of the gay contestants announced he was HIV+, the cast was shown to just stare at him, including the several men I suspected were gay. The contestant is then says he's leaving the room to take a bath, and the cast is shown just lounging. Any comment was reserved for their one-on-ones with the camera filmed later. But what would I have them say? FAGS OF THE WORLD, UNITE! In the very same episode he is ousted, which I call TIMING. The Challenges don't feel as refined as "Project Runway's", like they may have been put together at the last minute.

Back to Todd: the cameras never seem to hover on Oldham more than a few seconds at a time. True, he's not the beauty that Klum or Lakshmi are, but he's a Catch. At least let me see what the man is wearing!

If it seems like Todd and Goil and Michael are John are only holding my interests, you would be wrong. Todd first. Goil reminds me of a perfect composite of a few men I have dated - Daven and Andy, who were perfectly LOVELY men, and I was a creep. As I said, the challenges on the show seems a bit contrived, but then: look at my room! Look a my clothes! I am neither fashion queen or design maven.

Auf Wiedersen!!